[With Or Without You - Utada Hikaru]
Because it’s still one of my favorite covers of this song. And because it’s applicable to my life right now.
I mean, don’t get me wrong. It feels great to be just another stranger here, where no one knows my name, my story, my thoughts.
But there seem to be more days where I just miss the usual -
texting the usual people
to get the usual food or drink
at the usual place.
Am missing the familiar
and my routine
and my friends
and my home.
It’s hitting me harder than ever that I’m about to go through probably one of the biggest changes in my life. I feel a whirlwind of emotions as each day passes by - excitement, sadness, stress, insecurity, anxiety, fear, confusion, anticipation, optimism… I am still really unsure of what to expect when I land in the city that will be my “home” for the next how-many years.
But now that it’s getting closer, I’m preparing myself for this by trying to have an open mind and an open heart. And I’m hoping by the next time I come back to this home I’ve created the last 6 years, I’ll return as a changed person: a happier, stronger, secure, motivated, determined, I-don’t-give-a-fuck-what-others-think-about-me person.
I think I’m ready for this change.
"Without the cross and resurrection of Jesus, we are stuck in our pains and problems." - Pastor Casey Treat #rememberfriday
Found this shared on my news feed. I need to remind myself of this more often.
Tall trees and blue skies. #downtownseattle
I knew that last Friday and Saturday would be very difficult. It has been five years since I’ve lived this feeling and it was definitely hard to go through it again. Some friends had asked me if it was easier to deal with, as I had gone through something similar in the past.
The truth? No, it wasn’t any easier.
To be honest, what saved me was going through this experience with my second family. Having these special people in my life are the reason why I’m getting through this tragedy. We’re a family that has come together and have been there to support one another, to pick each other up each time we fall. I’ve got a lot of brothers and sisters I’ve gained these last few years, and losing one of our sisters has been tough on all of us.
Dani, I meant what I said to your friends and family on Friday. After all the heartbreak and anger I felt, I am finally left with hope that I will be able to continue to live my life. And that wouldn’t have been possible if it weren’t for you.
"Only the purest of hearts and brightest of souls are selected to be an angel early on. You were one of the most genuine people I have met in my life thus far, and I’m happy to have known you and see you grow these few years we’ve known one another. You’re an inspiration to us all, and we will never forget all you’ve taught us.”
I miss you.
CONGRATS, HAWKS!!! :) Y’all kicked butt out there today!